i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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