it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
