Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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