if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
