walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
