Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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