i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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