the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
