If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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