No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize