They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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