I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize