fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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