then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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