can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
