plz talk dirty to me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Houston, we have a squirter
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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