he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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