'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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