my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
