Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
