Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You are the jesus of drinking
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize