a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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