He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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