My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
