If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we should paint friendship bongs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
