yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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