Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dignity is for republicans.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
