Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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