too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's blow job season.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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