I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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