She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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