I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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