Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
