kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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