No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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