i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
