absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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