Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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