i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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