I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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