remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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