So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
