it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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