Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
