So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize