My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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