Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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