3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
In America we eat man semen.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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