they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
