Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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