That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
