There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
