I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
