I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When are your genitals available?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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